Seek the Simplicity

Sometimes life can be so overwhelming. We need reminding that self care is vital. We need to take time out to remind our selves that we should be nurtured and cared for. If we can’t do that for ourselves how can we expect others to treat us with tenderness and compassion when there are dark days? If we always appear strong and “together”, how will our friends and family know that like the graceful swan, we are paddling like crazy just to stay afloat?

I worry. I worry  about things I cannot change, I worry about the things I can change, but don’t. I worry all the time.  I fret about doing too much, about not doing enough and sometimes I worry about doing nothing at all. I don’t share the worries, the moments of uncertainty or the days when I feel like a fraud, that  my lack of writing or crochet  skills will be “discovered” and I will need to find a “proper” job again!

On days like this,  everything crumbles. My Lupus flares up, I lose the ability to settle to work, the “to do” list becomes overwhelming and I have to stop. Today is one of those days.  There are a couple of new books in the early stages, a possibility of some consultancy work and our holiday to plan. My desk is a chaotic mess of hand written notes, half finished crochet samples, maps of France and ferry timetables. My week has become over complicated and I cannot focus.

So today I sought out simplicity. I took a mug of coffee into my garden, I wrapped myself in a crochet blanket and I watched the birds, bees, and spiders. The birds only seem to worry about a lack of access to the bird feeder. They squabble and bicker as the queues build up (so many fledglings to feed), the pigeons jostle for best pickings dropped by the sparrows and blue tits.  The bees just make constant journeys between chives, comfrey and their hives. They do this on repeat, humming gently. Wasps and flies do “their thing”. The robin sits on the floor beside me, he’s more used to following me through the veg patch as I uncover grubs. He and Mrs robin have hungry mouths to feed, so he only hangs around long enough to give me a scowl of disapproval. He likes me busy and occupied.

Everything in the garden seems to have purpose, while today I have none. The emails are going unanswered, shopping lists ignored. There is a parcel waiting to go to the Post Office (another commission off to be approved by a client) and a letter to a lovely friend that needs to be written.  I have phone calls to make and a greenhouse to water. But, everything can wait. Today is about doing one thing at a time, and first there is coffee.

I like my coffee made slowly, brewed in a percolator. I can hear it bubbling and gurgling through the open window. Usually, I would use this time to wash dishes, sort laundry or make a valiant attempt to tidy. Instead I am sitting in the sun, watching small creatures and listening to birdsong. I refuse to feel guilty that I am not multi tasking. If Mr T were to read this, he would nod sagely and tell me he adopted this approach a long time ago. He spends a lot of time sitting still (reading, thinking, planning). He doesn’t worry about “stuff”. He takes what life gives him and makes the best of it. I could learn a lot from Mr T. He knows the restorative power of being idle!

Now, with coffee poured and the mid morning sun casting shadows over the garden I feel less agitated. Does it really matter that I took a couple of hours off to do nothing? The world around me has continued. No-one has noticed I didn’t reply to their email or “like” their Facebook post.  I drink coffee, watch birds and my head clears. I shall take the sourdough starter out of the fridge and make a loaf (it will be ready for breakfast tomorrow). I shall make lunch then take a walk and post my parcel. One thing at a time. Ticks against menial tasks on the “to do” list.

Tomorrow I shall add another task: Seek the simplicity.

One day at a time, one simple task, one achievement, one small win…

 

 

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2 Comments

  1. what a lovely post. I needed to hear this today as getting frustrated with myself.Lots to do but my body can’t physically do it x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Tracey

     /  June 1, 2017

    Thank you, we all have those kinds of days, and we all get frustrated at times.

    Like

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  • I’m Tracey Todhunter. I’m a freelance writer. specialising in green / ethical living – with a “sideline” in craft!

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  • A hook and a book! Bought myself this gorgeous hook from  @beyond_measure & met my crochet heroine Marie Wallin - a good Woolfest haul this year!
#woolfest #crochet #crochethook #worksouting Bought myself a new shawl pin from @textilegarden at Woolfest (shawl knitted in Eden Cottage Yarns Milburn 4 ply
#knitting #knittersofinstagram #shawls #neverenoughshawls #woolfest The gooseberries are plump and tart - perfect for gin! This is my favourite summer gin. Add a few elderflowers if you like. Freeze the gooseberries first so they release their flavour. 
#gooseberries #gin #girlgardener #eatwhatyougrow #ediblegarden #permaculture #countrywisdom #slowliving #summerinaglass #homesteading #greenliving #slowliving #slowfood Borage. I'll be freezing these flowers in ice cube trays for adding to summer Pimms & gin. 
The leaves make a fabulous "tea" to feed tomatoes (mix in a bucket of water with a handful of nettles), it doesn't smell as bad as comfrey feed and much cheaper / greener than the stuff you buy in garden centres!!
#girlgardener #edibleflowers #slowliving #foraging #permaculture #countrywisdom #mygardenrightnow Throwback . Taken on a visit to Chatsworth House in Derbyshire a couple of weeks ago. Can you read that  card? A valet to whiten your converse! Brought back memories of  whitening my Dunlop green flash in the 70's!!!
#chatsworth #converseallstars #conversetrainers Strange sky tonight.
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