The Sound of Silence

squirrel.jpgToday I’m back at my desk after the UK Bank Holiday weekend. This year Mr T went away on a “boy’s jolly” to Scotland, and rather than inviting friends to stay or jaunting off, I decided to treat myself to a few days of solitary  peace and quiet here at home.

There is a certain self indulgent joy in choosing not to be social. I got up when the sun woke me, went to bed when I felt tired and spoke to no-one for two whole days. I didn’t find myself feeling lonely, there was enough activity in the garden to keep me entertained and apart from an indulgent session of trashy film watching on Saturday night I only listened to the radio in the mornings to catch the news headlines, and the TV stayed turned off. I chose not to join the Bank Holiday shoppers or duck and weave between families visiting the forest. I stayed in, pulling on my PJs and not washing my hair!

The silence gave me a chance to listen to myself, to think about how I spend my days and how much of the time is spent trying to please other people or conform to expectations. I relished not having to slap on the cover up that hides my skin rashes and redness (caused by the Lupus and which forces people to stare when I go out). I wandered around my house, touching favourite books, opening them, reading a few pages and then adding some of them to the ready to topple pile of “must re-reads” on my bedside table. I spent long hours in the garden. I weeded, transplanted seedlings and watered pots. I noticed the pesky squirrel who comes to my garden every day is a female. From the look of her, she’s recently given birth and she has a healed injury to her front arm. There is a fresh wound to one of her nipples and I worried that it might become infected, so for a few minutes,  I allowed her free access to the sunflower seeds in the bird feeder. Her survival skills made me feel like she’d earned a break and an easy feed! I wasn’t really alone because I has a garden full of birds, butterflies and bees. They paid no attention to me or to each other. I felt at ease, without the need to hold a conversation. It was enough to just sit and watch the world unfold in my garden

I didn’t feel at all lonely during my two days alone (and let’s remember, it was only two days). Maybe this is because I had chosen this time for myself, thinking of it as an indulgence. Sometimes, I am forced to remain home alone because of work commitments or ill health and on these occasions I often feel resentful and suffer that terrible feeling of missing out on “all” the fun everyone else is having. I found myself dwelling on the subtle difference between being alone and being lonely. I thought about my neighbour, long widowed, who spends many hours in her own company, but protests she never feels lonely or abandoned because she can choose where to go and who to see. This is a stark contrast to her days as a full time carer, when she was never able to go out on a whim – or hardly at all to be honest! Back then she was often sad. She would spend long hours weeding her front garden, cleaning the car or finding any number of reasons to potter about in the hope of a snatched conversation. Other neighbours would take time to stop, to chat, to allow her time to indulge in gossip and let her talk about nothing in particular. Let’s be honest, apart from snatched moments with her husband’s carers or a PPI telephone call, these were her only interactions and she needed more.

This weekend of self imposed “me time” was a treat, a much needed break and a chance to please myself. How would I cope if this was my “every day”? I’m not sure. But, I hope that if / when that day comes then I will have enough resilience to find my own way through the silence and to enjoy my own company …

…just so long as I have access to a window and a full bird feeder!

Why Am I Being Sold Solutions I Don’t Need to Problems I Don’t Have? (Answer – Guilt & Insecurity)!

washable make up remover padsI care what other people think about me. I know I shouldn’t, but there it is, I’m a sensitive soul. When my daughter was a toddler, I hosted a Mums and Toddlers coffee morning for my local NCT group. I happened to overhear an American “Mom” telling the lady sitting next to her that she had just used my bathroom “… and there was the most disgusting bar of soap” by the sink, she went on to lecture this other Mum about how “unhygenic” real soap is, that in the USA no self respecting Mother  would dream of offering such a dirty, germ infested thing to guests. Needless to say, my sensitive soul was mortified and I went straight out that afternoon and loaded up with liquid soap. Over the years I’ve tried organic, refillable, eco friendly versions, but always I had the same misgivings that I was buying a solution to a problem I didn’t have. I rebelled and went back to soap bars a couple of years later (there is still a bottle of liquid soap in my bathroom for those who wish to use it – it’s been standing there so long, the sun has bleached the contents and the once coloured liquid soap is now clear).

While it’s great that I’m making and using cotton wash cloths and make up removers instead of disposable cotton pads, their positive impact is lessened by all the disposable, non recyclable cr*p that fills my bin every week. The more I think about this incident, the more I begin to realise that my house is filled with stuff I don’t need need or never really wanted. How many of us have been sold washing liquid pods, microfibre cleaning cloths, bottled water, disposable everything in the name of convenience? Look at the contents of your fridge, tomato ketchup in squeezy plastic bottles (because it’s “so difficult” to turn a glass bottle upside down and bash out the last few dollops), milk in plastic containers instead of the once returned and re-used glass milk bottle because it’s so much more convenient to buy a bulk carton from the supermarket than have it delivered fresh every morning by the milk man.

Marketing companies are constantly on the look out for new improved ways to get us to part with our money and they are rarely eco – friendly. Now that you’ve ditched your disposable coffee cup, binned the bottled water, bought yourself a bamboo toothbrush and a stainless steel straw (all the “must haves” to display your earth friendly credentials these days), what do you do next?

I’m making a start by thinking about all those modern conveniences that supposedly make my life so much easier. The pump action cosmetic  bottles, the flip tops on shampoo, the plastic lined bags that I buy my ground coffee in are all on my hit list. For years we’ve been washing and re-using plastic food bags, take away containers and yoghurt pots, but eventually I’d like to stop  buying them completely (If I can just wean Mr T off his addiction to putting sandwiches in a plastic bag that would be a start). I don’t think it’s going to be easy, but I think that by asking myself “Will this purchase make my life easier in the long term”? I might be able to make a dent in all that packaging that fills my household rubbish bin.

All tips, ideas, suggestion to help me on my journey to a less complicated life welcome…

 

The Garden in Early May

I am pruning the Dogwood, well some if them at least. I like to leave some until after they flower, although I know  that if I cut them back now I can plunge the cuttings in the soil to make new plants and the remaining stems with be deep red next autumn. I juggle what I know to be “gardening lore”, with my gut instinct to enjoy what I have in the moment. The air is filled with the buzz and hum of insects. There are dozens of orange tip butterflies, I think they must have recently hatched as I’ve never seen so many in one day. They won’t sit still long enough to photograph, which is frustrating and doesn’t stop me trying (and failing). There are dozens of St Mark’s Flies (named because they allegedly hatch on St Marks Day, which is 25th April), they’re not the most glamorous pollinator in the garden, but they certainly are the most numerous!

Last week the farmer ploughed the field and sowed seeds, this week there are dozens of wood pigeons feasting on the fresh young tips of seedlings. They swoop and soar overhead, occasionally landing, picking the green tips from the soil. As I write this, I can see twenty or thirty of them, field walking like overly keen metal detectorists, their eyes scanning the ground as they avoid each other’s patch of earth.

apple blossom

The apple tree, planted as a pip over 20 years ago is heavy with pink blossom, I hope this means a good crop of apples. It only began to bear fruit a couple of years ago and to our delight the apples are sweet and edible! The tree has grown wild, never pruned it has begun to twist and turn, a few branches are starting to rub against each other and I have resolved to read up how best to care for it (probably too late, but in the spirit of “always learning” I shall borrow a book on fruit trees from the library or fall down a rabbit hole of internet research).

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All our  trees have burst into life, even the hornbeam hedge is greening up. Every year it slowly progresses from left to right, the shady end always waiting until mid May before bursting into life.  The hazel trees should have been coppiced, but we forgot / didn’t get round to it / didn’t want to risk losing a nut crop and so they have been left to grow tall and spindly. Some of the  ones we have coppiced are now a mass of thick young stems, a green hedge, the branches we cut are supporting sweet peas and criss crossed over the veg patch to deter birds from early veg.

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The whole garden seems ripe with promise, the clematis montana has flowered, the aquilegia that self seeded every spare patch of earth are  bringing some much needed colour, this year we have deep crimson, a pale pink and the deepest purple. There is also a patch  with creamy petals with the palest pink tips which are yet to open. They will either be gorgeous or a sad disappointment. You never know what you’ll get with these self seeders (which of course is part of their appeal).

The past two weekends have been warm enough to sit out doors, which has annoyed the robin. He wants us to turn over the earth, revealing grubs and young slugs. Instead we sit drinking mugs of tea, or sipping wine. The grass needs to be mowed, slugs picked off young green plants, the last of the leeks have been left to seed. They look like the palest cream alliums and are so beautiful I always leave a few to go to seed. There air is filled with birdsong, and I can’t help being filled with joy and optimism every time I step outside – except of course the day after the slugs demolished my freshly planted lettuce – on those days even I struggle to love the pesky creatures!

The Undersong

35711401054_178e4796a5_cLost, forgotten words fascinate me. At university I took a course in dialect maps, tracing the origin and spread of local words around the counties of England. I had mentally collected lists of local words for  wild flowers for years as we moved around the country  and later  I collected words about the landscape and nature. My childhood fascination with collective nouns grew into a love of words that describe the landscape and it was at university that I first heard the word “murmuration”,  it remains one of my favourite words. After my last post about the things we don’t see, a follower reminded me of the books by Robert Macfarlane, he writes beautifully about words and landscapes and he’s definitely worth seeking out. “Landmarks” sits on my bedside table, it’s the book I open when I just need a few minutes to lose myself or need to decompress after a busy day, it’s filled with lists of lost words and descriptions of our landscape. Hard to categorise or describe – just find it and read it!

At the moment I am besotted with the word “undersong”, the subtle, underlying sounds of the landscape. As I sit at my desk I can hear the birds, often so loud they drown out the everyday sounds of home.  Mr T, who normally works from home has made a trip to his company office today, I miss the hum of his computers, the occasional ring that signals the start of a skype call, the huffing and ho hums as he scrolls through emails. His chair creaks as he pushes the wheels back and forth over the carpet and occasionally a tune will drift down the hallway as he plays music to calm and relax the stressful parts of his working day. This is my undersong, not the poetic things you imagined?

You were expecting me to write about the distant call of rooks, the grinding of a tractor as it ploughs the field, the lowing of cows, maybe the song of a blackbird? No, I hear all of these things of course. But underneath, in the background there are the sounds of life and community. The house sounds eerie and empty, so I step outside. Our new neighbours are renovating the house before they move in, for days (weeks), there have been builders calling to each other, scraping, sanding, fixing, painting. The “Hello there” of neighbours passing by – none of us can wait much longer for the big reveal – so we’re all being ultra friendly in the home of an invitation to peek indoors (I’ve already had mine!). A few doors down a dog yaps, excitedly greeting everyone who walks past; our regular postman waves  as he pushes envelopes through the door  and calls out – “parcel on the step Trace” – which means the arrival of more yarn or maybe bike parts. If I close my eyes, I know exactly where I am. I am home and feel grounded in my soundscape.

I’ve written a lot recently about the things I see, not so much about the sounds or smells that are familiar. Maybe it’s because Mr T isn’t here today that I’m more aware of the sounds that are missing, the sounds I didn’t even realise I heard.

The Wonder of Things You Never See

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The sky, this morning. Perfect blue and fluffy clouds!

How often do you stop and look up at the sky? While I was hanging out the washing today, I looked up and saw a perfect blue sky. Such a beautiful sight, but so often overlooked as we walk about, head down or looking at the road ahead. It seemed to be such a perfect moment, the farmer was busy ploughing the field that backs onto our garden, being followed by a flock of black headed gulls, swooping and calling as he turned over the earth. I ran inside to grab my camera, such a beautiful sky deserves to be remembered.

This morning I heard my first cuckoo of the year.  At first I thought I had misheard, but no, definitely a cuckoo. I’ve never seen one, I only recognise it’s song (actually, that’s not strictly true, we once watched a female blackbird trying to feed a cuckoo fledgling). Now that the cuckoo is back, it is definitely spring. We are woken every morning by the dawn chorus, I lie in bed listening to the blackbird, I know it’s him sitting high among the cherry blossom. I don’t need to see him, I know he’s there, competing with robins and sparrows to be heard.

I was walking on the edge of  Delamere Forest, one of the nicer parts, filled with native trees, not the tall, sparse Scots Pine. A robin was serenading me, a woodpecker was drilling, high in the trees. So many birds and yet I couldn’t see any of them. I felt sorry for the posse of young mums pushing their strollers, wrangling toddlers, too busy discussing haircuts and last night’s TV in shrill voices to notice the lone cherry tree covered in the deepest pink blossom (they walked straight past it, not even pausing or glancing in its direction), the runner plugged into head phones couldn’t hear the birdsong that made me stop in my tracks. He had no idea the smile on my face was because of that first cuckoo.

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Tiny thing on leaves – how often do we walk past without even seeing them?

I began to think about all the things we know are there, but hardly ever see. The tiny insects we miss, the first buds on the trees (one minute they are all bare branches, the next they’re bursting into leaf). I realised how many birds I recognise by their song or from the briefest of glimpses (a jay, swooping n front of me as I drove along a country lane, a kingfisher, spied from a bridge as we fed the ducks, listening to the song of a nightingale when were on holiday last summer).

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A small patch of bluebells by the edge of the car park.

I took my camera out, to try and capture the overlooked, the missed and the ignored. A few pretty snaps that capture just another spring day. Nothing special, no rare bird sightings or beautifully captured shots, just nature at her mundane best. These are the moments in my day that are special, only appreciated when you slow down, take time to listen and look for  the small things.

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Comma butterfly, sunning herself.

 

Housework Forever, Crochet Whenever

No, not a typo. I wanted to write in defence of home making. over on Facebook I get tagged in shared memes all the time. Mostly they’re the kind that say “Crochet comes before housework for a reason” or similar. Apparently all knitters, crocheters and crafters are meant to put making before everything else. Housework, cleaning, cooking etc are secondary. Think of that sign you so often see hanging on the wall “Boring women have tidy houses” – well I’m coming out of the closet and saying I’m proud to be tidy.

On one level, these memes, shabby chic placards and posters might raise a smile, but at the same time I can’t help feeling that they are undermining the joy of home making. I don’t mean we should all live in  the showy, pristine homes you see on Instagram or in magazines (the kind where all traces of family life are removed and houseplants are artfully arranged to tumble over perfectly colour co-ordinated book shelves), but the kind of home where you feel welcome and would happily curl up your feet on the sofa with a cuppa and maybe a slice of cake. The chaos of family life is wonderful, there’s no shame in piles of unread post on the coffee tables, tumbling mountains of shoes, hats, coats and bags in the hallway. It’s OK to have unwashed dishes in the sink or an unmade bed. But, if you’re like me and find yourself indulging in a bit of gentle tidying as you go about your day and are happy doing so, why should other people feel the need to use terms like “homemaker” or “housewife” to make us feel small?

I enjoy the rituals of home making, the weekly meander from room to room watering my houseplants. I have about 30 at the moment, scattered around the house, not arranged in any particular order. Some in pretty pots, others standing in margarine tubs. There are a few prize specimens, but mostly they’re a motley collection of things that caught my eye, cutting from friends or presents from Mr T. If you have houseplants, they need to be looked after and there is a satisfaction in keeping them healthy, watching them thrive.

The same with book shelves. I dust them – because who wants to pull down a grubby book from the shelf – I like my books to smell like books, not accumulated dust! Floors are swept, because who wants to walk over a dirty floor in bare feet? Not me. The bathroom is clean – not spotless – but if I’m relaxing in the bath I don’t want to be distracted by cobwebs or tide marks (although it’s worth noting that bathing by candlelight disguises said cobwebs quite effectively).

Does it make me less of a good mother because there were days when I ironed clothes, did laundry or cleaned windows instead of playing with my daughter? Am I less creative because I like to tidy my desk before I sit down to write? If you come to visit and are served fresh coffee and home made cake it’s because I took the time to indulge in the joy of making a home, take pride in my surroundings and get satisfaction from picking garden flowers and arranging them in vases. I used to enjoy the daily ritual of tidying away toddler toys, plumping cushions (yes, I am a cushion plumper too – and no apologies), once my daughter was in bed, sitting in a tidy room , eating a home cooked meal, maybe drinking a glass of home made sloe gin and watching “rubbish telly” felt like a small victory in a challenging day.

You can mock the home maker all you like, keep tagging me in those memes or finding other ways to make me feel small and undermined because I am a home maker. But I tell you, for every woman posting pictures of her carefully curated home, fermented kimchi, gorgeous new kitchen, vintage sourced taps or pristine “creative space”  on Instagram, there is another woman (or man) behind the scenes, dusting, polishing, doing dishes carefully going about the business of creating a home – either that or they live in a hermetically sealed box where no kid is allowed to play with the train set, no husband is allowed to make a midnight snack and no dog poops in the garden!

Living a slower, simple life is about choosing your own path. There is no right way to live, no perfect recipe for a less complicated life. But what I do know is this; being surrounded by the people you love, making them happy and being made to feel valued and cherished leads to a more fulfilling day. If my day involves a slow bit of dusting, sweeping the floor, cleaning or baking and your doesn’t, that’s OK.

 

Interior shot credit: NHillier

Houseplants: Eddie Garcia

Keep the Wild in You

on the rocksI had an outdoors childhood. I didn’t think that was unusual, Dad would take us for walks along the banks of the river Severn, we would fish for sticklebacks with our cousins in the holidays, spend hours wandering through fields (in the days when wheat grew taller than me). Summer holidays were spent on the beach, exploring rock pools and building dens. We knew the names of birds and wild flowers because we saw them every year, named them, remembered them. We knew where to find wild raspberries, to avoid the bitter elderberries and in spring there was great delight to be had in picking “sticky willie” and throwing at each other.

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It’s only now that I’m an adult that I realise how lucky we were to have family (and teachers) who knew the value of being outdoors. It constantly surprises me that people will ask “Can you really eat that?”,  or that they are unable to identify garden birds or wild flowers, that they don’t know the thrill of finding a slow worm in the compost heap or the joy of spotting the first butterfly of the year. Maybe, because we walked to school or spent long summer days unsupervised in the countryside around our home a love of nature and an understanding of the seasons was just absorbed by osmosis. I can walk in the woods and name the trees, I know when to look out for the spiky sweet chestnuts (and I know how to roast them and eat them), I look forward to the first flush of nettle tops and the early wild garlic. I didn’t deliberately set out to pass on this knowledge to my daughter, but I think she has inherited at least some of that knowledge and respect for nature. Right now, we have a batch of birch sap wine fermenting in the kitchen, I’m eyeing up the cherry blossom and watching my neighbour’s crab apple tree with plans for jellies and jams. Food for free, foraging, whatever you like to call it, being with and eating wild things is part of who I am. It’s true, the only reason we planted an Elder in our garden was an ambition to make elderberry wine and elderflower champagne.

elderflowers 2016

So, in a long and rambling way, if this was your childhood and you regret that  you’ve now forgotten more than you remember, or you never had the opportunity to discover your “wild side”, then the Wildlife Trust’s “30 Days Wild” is for you. Starting on the 1st June, you can sign up to receive a whole month of simple ways to go wild. You can take part as an individual, a school, or even get together with your colleagues and go a bit wild in the work place. There are plenty of resources and ideas on the Wildlife Trust website. Download a pack and start planning your month of wild. Even if you can only manage a wild weekend or a few minutes there are suggestions for you. I love the idea of sparking “random acts of wildness” and encouraging more of us to step outside, even if it’s only for a few minutes each day. As regular readers know, my moments outside are essential. I always feel happier, calmer and ready to face the day after a wander around the garden or a walk in the woods.

But, 30 Days Wild isn’t just about discovering the outdoors and ticking a box in a spotters guide. It’s about encouraging us all to find time to go wild at any time of the year, not just in June. It’s about finding ways to live healthier, happier lives through being in nature. That might sound a bit “new age”, but everything I read and research tells me that my instinct to throw open the windows, walk barefoot on the grass or just sit on a bench and watch the birds  is good for me. Download the app and wherever you are, you can find something to do, or send off for an activity pack or check out the #30dayswild hashtag on Twitter and Instagram for ideas. I’ll be sharing my wild adventure online too, so join in with me and we can go wild together!

 

The Japanese advocate “Forest bathing”, children are being encouraged to take part in Forest School days, as far back as the 1970’s research proved that  patients in hospital make speedier recovery if they can see the sky and the grass through a window.  Try some of the suggestions and discover the nature in your garden, around your workplace or venture further afield. All the local Wildlife Trusts run activities (many of them free) to help you discover your local area, so if you’re nervous about venturing out alone you’ll be in good hands.

What are you waiting for? stop reading and get outdoors, find the wild in you…

 

Sparrowhawk!

sparrowhawk.jpgWe set off early, returning from our wonderful holiday in Wales (more to follow). It’s never easy to come home after a good holiday, especially when you really wanted to stay, enjoy the solitude and the scenery.

We unloaded the car, I made a scratch lunch of cheese on toast and as I walked from kitchen to living room  a familiar shape caught my eye. All of a sudden I knew I was happy to be home, content to be back in my own surroundings and even though I loved our short break in the Welsh countryside, home really is where the heart is – especially when the birds welcome you by posing long enough to allow you to grab your camera and hurriedly point and press!

The Things We Overlook

dandelion.jpgOn Easter Sunday I spotted the first dandelion flower of the year. We’ve been picking the leaves for salads for a couple of weeks ; along with  sorrel and the early chives they have supplemented the shop bought salad I’ve been buying since we cut the last of our home grown lettuces. Looking at Instagram I often feel that the commonplace and the ordinary are overlooked in favour of more exciting, glamorous gardening achievements. I see photos of gardeners showing off the first blossom from their almond trees or the luscious fruits of lemons in their enormous heated greenhouses, of course I’m a little jealous, if only finances would stretch to a new greenhouse or a larger plant buying budget! My own precious garden moments are more mundane, but they are still thrilling to me. Even the first dandelion flower, knowing it is one of many wild plants  that I can pick and eat for free gives me joy and a sense of achievement – much more than buying expensive plants from glossy catalogues or plant fairs – and then posting photos of them online!

Other mundane moments of the pas week include spotting a buzzard sitting high in the branches of the silver birch as I chopped veg for tea. Over the next few evenings I found myself watching for him, discovering  ragged piles of pigeon and magpie feathers just outside the garden gate. We ate our first nettle risotto of the year, picked leeks (only the smallest are left now, but oh so sweet after the frosts and snow) and unwrapped the fig tree from its winter fleece to discover new shoots and small fruits that have survived the winter.

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The robin is growing bolder, sitting still long enough for me to take a few photos of him on the fence. He still won’t come and sit beside me, but he will hop down and take food from the ground beside me. The pigeons are courting, one of them is sitting on a nest, a ragged affair in next door’s damson tree and the female blackbird is busy pulling up worms. A flock ( is there a collective noun I’m not aware of) of siskins descended on the garden, the females  gorging on the sunflower seeds in the bird feeder, happy to jostle the goldfinches away (collective noun – a “charm”, or my favourite “a troubling” of goldfinches – thank you google).

I’m reading “The Wood”, by John Lewis – Stemple, the story of a year in the life of the flora and fauna that live in the small wood near his home in Herefodshire. Like his earlier books (“The Running Hare” and “Meadowland”), this is a beautiful imagining* of life in the English countryside. The wood he writes about covers just three and a bit acres, but is filled with birds, ancient trees, wild flowers and creatures that many of us know exist, but seldom see, He spots badgers, a vixen carrying food home to her cubs, migrating birds and insects, describing them in simple language and making me want to walk in the woods at dusk!

Much of my life is ordinary, mundane and lacking excitement. But, the sudden joy of spotting that buzzard in the tree, the siskins, or last year’s early dusk encounter with a couple of boxing hares  spark feelings of joy and gratitude. Reading The Wood I feel lucky and blessed to live here, to be able to find time to just sit, look out of my window and see all that my small Cheshire garden has to offer. I feel I am part of a wider community of nature lovers and people who appreciate the ordinary and the every day. Look out of your window, look up as you walk along the pavements and find moments of joy in the world around you.

I share photos of the things I spot from my garden, walks in the wood or snatched moments of excitement in an otherwise dull day in my Instagram stories – check out the “highlights” on my profile to see them.

 

  • In an author statement from the The Running Hare, the book is  described as a “substantially non fictional account based on the life, experiences and recollections of the author … except in minor respects .. the contents of this book are true”.

Notes From a Small Garden

My new garden robin.jpgWe have a new Robin, I spotted him on Tuesday. He’s much more cautious than our “old friend” who has kept us company all winter. This new visitor is smaller and as I approached the bird feeder he pressed his back against the fence-  wanting to edge away –  but  also hopeful that I was bringing snacks. I sprinkled a few sunflower seeds on the ground at my feet, he waited until my back was turned before hopping down to seize the plumpest and flying into the apple tree’s branches. I wonder how long it will be before he grows as bold as his friend (pictured above), who would hop down and follow me from the back door to the bin where I store bird food,  then scold me if I didn’t throw a few treats his way before making my way to the hazel tree where I hang the feeders.

I feel sad that we have lost our “old friend”, all winter there have been three robins visiting the garden, but only one has become bold enough to sit beside me as I drink my early morning cuppa on the garden bench. The others kept their distance. I wonder if this is a sign that spring really is here and soon they will start competing for territory, no longer keeping the winter truce which has allowed them all equal access to the food we put out for them every morning. I wonder what happened to my friendly robin? Maybe he failed to spot the sparrow hawk that visits each lunch time, or came off worse in a scuffle with another male. Perhaps (and I hope not), he was caught by the pesky cat “no tail”, who prowls around looking for  birds to toy with –  but not eat – he’s too well fed to make a proper meal of them. He often left them, shocked (or worse, needing to be put out of their misery) on the back step, but as he has learnt he’s not welcome here, he prefers the hidden space behind the shed where he can bask in the sunshine unseen from the house and lick his lips as he hopes for easy prey.

This new robin is quite tiny, his plumage bright red and his eyes beady black. Today he sat and watched me as I added some veg peelings to the compost bin, edging closer as I searched through the top layers, hoping to see signs of the brandling worms that have been buried deep over winter. Soon they will make their way to the top layers, their bodies entwined as they respond to the warmer weather, a writhing mass of breeding worms that turn my garden waste into rich, black gold to mulch the veg patch. This robin hasn’t learnt what a rich source of food can be found in the compost yet, it won’t be long before he’s hopping in and out. The wooden lid doesn’t fit properly and the older, wiser birds know that it’s full of meaty morsels, slugs, beetles and grubs that have made their home in the warm, moist compost.

male blackbird

As I walk back to the house, the blackbird calls to me and as I turn to listen, the tiny pink flower of the hazel catches my eye. It’s the first time this year I’ve spotted them in our garden. I’ve been too busy rushing in and out of the house, avoiding the cold blasts, the rain and even snow this winter. I have photographed them on my walks, but this is the first from my own garden.

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Standing at the door, I watch out new robin squabble with the hedge sparrows and scuffle under the feeders for dropped seed with a couple of gold finches and a  thrush that turns over leaves looking for snails. We may only have a small garden, but on mornings like these it has as much to offer as any nature reserve and I head back indoors grateful to be home from my London trip , and not even grumpy any more that I was woken by these same birds singing their  dawn chorus at 5.30am!

If you want to know more about the robin, or the rest of our common garden birds, a good place to start is the RSPB website.